Sometimes Mindfulness Doesn’t come Easily

With the work I have been doing on my meditation course Real Life Calm I naturally have been thinking a great deal about mindfulness.  I certainly know the practice, yet like many of us I could stand to practice it more.

With that said, the other day I had just returned home from my daily run.  It was muggy and I was drenched.  I was looking forward to my newfound habit of taking a cold shower.  As invigorating as it is, the goal is to get in and get out.  However, on this day I decided to practice literally what I preach, mindfulness. 

It was transformative.  The total presence of moment was exhilarating.  Experiencing everything brought me to a sense of calm quite readily. I stepped out of the shower as if I had slept an extra 8 hours, so relaxed. 

Today I came back from my run eager to do the same thing, experience the bliss that ensues a moment of mindfulness.  I slowly stepped into the shower and calmly closed the curtain.  My mind started wandering to the things I needed to get done today. I took a deep breath and reminded myself of this moment.

I turned the water on a fraction of the way and awaited the cascade of cold water.  I was eager to feel it hit my body like it did the other day, feeling each jet, noticing where the pressure seemed greater, languishing in the mist of the lesser sprays.  What I did notice was,

“Damn, this water is cold as hell!”

I reminded myself that it was equally cold the other day.  That realization told me quite pointedly that I was not being mindful.  My thoughts had already drifted to the past.  I centered myself, drawing my mind back to this moment. 

Yet as hard as I tried to become present with the water it seemed that each jet had a malicious intent of pelting me with icy water. The water did not stimulate my senses.  It was freakin cold!

Hard as I tried the moment of the other day was not meant to be recaptured.  In that moment my guides offered up insights as I dried off. 

“You lost this moment comparing it to another.  Your focus wavered and your anxiety grew. Next time, embrace the cold, the anger, the discomfort.  Life is about feeling all of it and using all energies to help you grow”

I thanked them for their wisdom and shook my head.  That is what makes a day so amazing, the conversations that exist between the stumbling human me and my higher self that knows the benefit of tripping up.

Here’s to another day of lessons! Cheers!

Tho